“You need to abort the baby.” Both the second and third doctors encouraged the same thing. “She really can’t physically or emotionally deal with the
I looked at my grand daughter, who I had legally adopted
she has this baby inside her. What am I going to do? What is best for my little girl?
“Mama, I want to keep it.”
“Honey, you know you can’t keep the baby, you can’t even remember to take a bath or brush your teeth.” “I don’t want to kill it.”
But I’m too old to take care of a baby. Besides that, I’ve got enough people to take care of without this one. I adopted both my grandkids, and neither one of them can care for themselves. I watch my other three grandkids, cuz their
I told ya Papa wasn’t too well. He had a heart attack and had to have surgery. They put in a pacemaker. By the time I got him home from the hospital, she was way past the point to do the
“Honey, I think we should give the baby to a good family.”
“But I want to take care of the baby, Mama.”
“I got you a Chihuahua.”
“I’ll name her Sugar. She’s more fun than a baby. But
“Sure Honey, we’ll name the baby Rose.”“And I’ll always be a Mama even if I don’t take care of the baby?”
“Yes Honey. No one can take that away from you. You’ll always be a Mama.”
“Come on, Sugar, let’s play house. You be the baby.”
“Mama it hurts. Make it stop.”“It’s almost over, Sweetheart.”
“Ma’am, you have a baby girl. She has a cleft palate, so her lip looks kind of different.”
“I don’t want to see her. She looks funny, and she hurt me. Take her away. . but please call her Rose. . . Mama, I want to go home and play with Sugar.”“OK, Honey, we will, as soon as you feel a little better.”
“Lord, I don’t get it.” Tears evaporated from my face as the steamy shower water hit them. “I am more than qualified to be a nanny. Why haven’t I
“Yes, I am looking for a job, but I can take another baby until I have one.”
“The adoptive parents decided they couldn’t handle
“Oh, look at you. You are so beautiful, and so so sweet.That lip doesn’t take away from your beauty,it just adds to your character. It will be fixed, and you will be as good as new in no time. You’re new Mommy and Daddy will be shooing the boys away soon enough.”
“We haven’t found parents yet.”
“You are so special. Can I tell you a secret, Rose?
“How can that be? Are you telling me that you have
Worthy is the,
Lamb who was slainHoly, Holy, is He
Sing a new song, to Him who sits on
Heaven’s Mercy Seat
“Be willing to take the baby.”
I’m trying to sing – why won’t this thought leave my head?
“Honey.. . “
“”Shhhhh. We’re worshiping.”
“Honey, I can’t get this thought out of my head. It’s like I keep hearing a voice say, ‘Be willing to take the baby.’”
“I don’t know, but I can’t get the thought out of my head.”
Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and
Glory and power be
To You the Only Wise King,
“Thanks to you, now I have it in my head too”
Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing:
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything,
And I will adore You…!
“Let’s stop whispering and pay attention to the sermon.”
“LISTENING TO THE VOICE OF GOD . . . If God is speaking to you this morning, I invite you to come forward and pray with our Care Team.”
“Honey, I think we should go forward.”
We prayed. We didn’t get it. That was a year and a half ago. But we prayed because we thought we heard the voice of God.
Three and a half years ago God had called us to foster and adopt children – older children. There are lots of people who want babies, especially white ones. We wanted to adopted children the state deemed “unadoptable” meaning older, sibling groups or not white.
But after that day at church, I couldn’t get the idea of adopting a baby out of my heart or mind. I thought about raising another child. I dreamed about it. I imagined it. I researched it and planned all the things I’d do differently this time around.
“Honey, I really want a baby.”
“Why don’t we wait for grand kids?”
“I can’t wait to have grand kids! But it’s not the same. I want to raise another child. I love being a Mom.”
“That’s crazy, but why don’t we talk to the foster agency and see if they can place a baby with us.”
“We asked you 10 months ago to place a baby with us. Why are you telling us now, that you can’t put our name on the list for a baby, it has to be for a child between the ages of 0 – 5 years? And we have to take two? We already adopted one, doesn’t that count as half of two? No? We have to take two more? ”
We can’t do it. We talked to the kids. Both were overwhelmed with the idea of having two preschool/toddler/babies in the home. It simply isn’t fair to them.
“Honey, please take down the crib. I don’t want a visual reminder of not having another baby staring me in the face every morning when I wake up. I have to refocus on something else.”
I spent a day curled up in a ball and crying over the lose of a baby I’d never have, over the lose of a dream.
“Please God, take this desire from me. I feel like You opened up my heart to a baby that morning in church. I really thought it was You speaking to me. Maybe it wasn’t. Lord, take the desire or You give me a baby miraculously. If you can impregnate Sarah in her old age, or Mary in her virginity, you can give me a baby if you so choose. I promise to never again pursue a child on my own, if you want me to have one You make it abundantly clear that it is from You.”
“Hello. What do you mean that no one wants Rose?”
“Of course, I will talk to him, but I know he will say no.”
“Honey, about that baby. . .”
“Don’t you think we’re too old?”
“Speak for yourself!”
“What about the money?”
Taken care of.
“What about the medical expenses?”
Taken care of.
“What about our not being with the same agency?”
Taken care of.
“What will the kids think?”
Taken care of – in fact – the one you were the most worried about is begging to take the baby.
“Let’s call the agency, and if it is God’s will, it will happen, if not, God will put a stop to it.”
Clear sailing, just enough wind to carry us across a sea of paperwork.