Control


“I’m going. I have to. You can’t stop me. I’ll go by myself. There’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
“Don’t you realize I want you to go. In fact, I’m going to take you myself. But what you don’t understand is you can’t go without me, no matter how much you want to.”
Blank stare. Heels dug in. Refusing to admit I could stop her – refusing to admit I have any control at all. Refusing to admit that I want the same thing as her. Wanting her to realize she can’t get it without me. Wanting her to say thank you – but it doesn’t come. She believes that if she looses control – or gives the control away that she will no longer be happy. No longer have fun. No longer be free. She doesn’t realize I could give her more options than her mind could dream up. She could have more fun, and be happier, and have a freedom beyond her immediate limitations. If only she would let go long enough to realize I want the best for her.
“He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Col 1:17
“I’m doing it my way – and there’s nothing you can do about it!”
“If only she would realize I created her, I give her life each day. She can do nothing without me.”
Bland stare. I dig in my heals. I can do anything I set my mind to. Why should I trust in God – He’d just wants to take all my fun away? He wants to tell me what I can and can’t do.
Open my eyes, Lord. Help me to see that I can do nothing on my own. You created me and you give me life each day. You don’t want to ruin my life – you want the best for me. Without you I could do nothing. You will give me more opertunities than I could ever imagine. Open my eyes, help me to see how much I need You, how much You love me. I exist, and live and love because of You -forgive me for my failure to recognize it. All you want is my thanks, my adoration, my worship – is that too much to ask? So why do I keep digging in my heels?

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